My Mother Was an E.T.

In honor of Alien Abduction Day 2018, I share the following: My mother was an E.T., according to the classmates who signed her high school yearbook in Upstate New York. Apparently so were several of her classmates. I kid you …

Extraterrestrial Ants and the Power of Illusion

Allie March 11, 2018

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When ants invade the kitchen, I’m in charge of setting the booby traps. So when Bear came to me and said, “The counter is SWARMING with ants!” I went running to see where they were coming from so that I …

The LITE Train that Saved the Day

Allie February 18, 2018

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Once upon a time, Mr. Bigman the Engineer invested in a little stock car named JDSU. It was just a caboose at $3.91 per share, and having been such a good little caboose in flippers past, Mr. Bigman bought 702 …

Obsession with Gypsy Rose Lee

Allie February 11, 2018

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Ever since I was six years old, I’ve been fascinated with the burlesque entertainer Gypsy Rose Lee, and I’ve always believed that getting in trouble on her behalf was the reason that her name became such a powerful force in …

The Antichrist isn’t a Person, it’s a Movement

Allie February 10, 2018

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The Antichrist Isn’t a Person — it’s a Movement. And the movement is bulldozing its way through Christianity with full force. You can see the AntiChrist Warriors everywhere, chipping away at Christianity in seemingly random ways, but there’s nothing random …

Po… po… po…

Allie July 2, 2017

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Po… po… po… Poor revelers on a Saturday night, gazing out the windows, Poring over the weatherman’s writing, doom and gloom, oh woe! Pouring rain over Georgia, with thunder and lightning aglow, Poe couldn’t have done better, nor Hitchcock’s creepy …

Alien Abduction Day 2017

Allie March 19, 2017

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Also called Extraterrestrial Abduction Day, this observance takes place on March 20, although nobody is certain when it began except for being popularized by a 2008 Toronto festival for Alien Abduction Day. As a lifelong abductee, or experiencer as is …

Declutter Your House by the Square Foot

Allie January 15, 2017

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I’d been on a mission to declutter the house, to get rid of everything we didn’t use that wasn’t nailed down. It was a daunting task, but I’d turned it into a manageable task by tackling it one item at …

Dirty Old Men Face Off in the Year of Dirty Politics

Allie October 12, 2016

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Let’s face it — Donald Trump is a Dirty Old Man. Bill Clinton is a Dirty Old Man. And so are a gazillion other men. Why do you think some religions allow men to have multiple wives? Why do middle-aged …

Declutter Your House the Easy Way

Allie October 2, 2016

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Having a sheriff traipse through your house with eyes on EVERYTHING is like somebody shining a spotlight through a magnifying glass onto a pimple. Suddenly, you see every embarrassment that you’ve hidden away, every secret stash of unmentionables. But sheriffs …