Short, Bald People and the Rapture

Close friends of mine were two months away from having a baby and like most expecting parents, they were trying to pick out a name. The name they were leaning toward was Aryan.

Being from India, the name Aryan for them did not have the bad karma that it does for many in the U.S. and Europe. They had no idea the bad mojo that would hang over their son if they tagged him with such a name so I set them straight, giving them a brief history of what Aryan meant during the regime of Hitler and the Nazis. Once they understood, they chose a different name.

That would have been the end of it but as with anything, once a notion enters my head it simmers there for awhile, cooking until it turns into something bizarre. Aryan was a genetic race that Hitler wanted to preserve and propagate. Most of all, Hitler wanted to protect it from “impurities” (i.e. mixing with other races.)

Germans figure rather prominently in The Cantor Dimension, and one of the main characters is German. In my mind he looks a lot like the actor, Eric Stoltz. As the book includes snippets of life during the war, this was simmering in my head as well.

With 2012 around the corner and the end of the world at our heels, all things relating to Armageddon, Revelations, the Rapture and such were also simmering up there in the old noggin, spitting out strangeness every now and again.

The simmering of Hitler with both aliens and the various end of the world scenarios finally solidified into something concrete, and this morning it spit out a fascinating theory. Suppose for a moment that the Rapture is a time when our space alien brothers ride in to save the day, rescuing a select few of us from the Armaggedon we’ve brought down upon our own heads.

Up until this morning I figured that if extraterrestrials were the bringers of the Rapture, they’d surely choose young, strapping persons to build a new world. Maybe they’d include folks who knew plant lore and natural medicine, and people with heads full of knowledge such as engineering.

Criminal minds and mean-spirited people wouldn’t have a chance no matter how much knowledge they had, but being a good person wouldn’t be enough either, you’d need to have a workable skill to build a new civilization off-world in order to be saved by the Rapture.

I have a head full of useful knowledge including some plant lore and herbal medicines, but as the body doesn’t cooperate with me the way it used to, I figure I won’t be chosen in the Rapture, not unless they can make me young again. But what if I’m wrong? What if the Rapture isn’t about your skills and abilities to build a new world? What if it’s purely genetic, like Hitler’s Aryan race?

What if some of us are descended in part from the space aliens? What if some of us have extraterrestrial DNA? Ancient astronaut theorists such as Zecharia Sitchin put forth the theory that aliens mixed their DNA with the native population. Scientists have just discovered Neanderthal DNA in a whole group of people that they didn’t know about before, so why not the DNA of little green men as well?

I thought about the implications, who would be most likely to have such alien DNA, and suddenly it became crystal clear. I saw an image of Hitler, who himself doesn’t look very Aryan, and that clinched it.

As the primary extraterrestrials who visit Earth are the short, skinny, big-headed grey aliens with giant black bug-eyes, those would be the traits their purest descendants would have. Tall people? Out of luck. Tall people are not going to be swooped up in the Rapture. Fat people? Nope. Blue eyes? Not a chance. A head full of beautiful hair? Sorry, you’re not going to make it either.

Short, skinny, bald-headed or thin-haired people with big dark eyes, it’s your time to shine! YOU will be the ones carried up in the Rapture! The space aliens want YOU, their descendants, to be saved from the hell we Earthlings have brought down upon our own heads. Pack a suitcase and get ready, because THEY are coming for YOU.

Originally posted on August 3, 2011.

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